


Push Me to My Limit

by WildCacti



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Build, Smut too, haha - Freeform, mattsun and makki know whats up, so dont worry, volleyball injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-20 21:03:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16563095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildCacti/pseuds/WildCacti
Summary: "The first time Iwaizumi realized something was wrong was when Oikawa missed a chance to make a painfully obvious stupid remark about the way he handled girls."Oikawa has always been pushing Iwaizumi to his limit, whether he was aware or not. But just how long will he survive till he breaks?





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Iwaizumi realized something was wrong was when Oikawa missed a chance to make a painfully obvious stupid remark about the way he handled girls. 

The student had rushed over after school before practice, gently tugging at his sports jersey and stuttering as she handed him a card and asked to go on a date. His composure fell apart just as much as hers and as much as it pained him, he tried his best to reject her question. 

She’d looked up at him the most vulnerable gaze and twitching lips as she whimpered, “but I ...Aki-chan and Haruka-chan thought you…” She fumbled to get a handkerchief out of her bag, holding it out shakily. Iwaizumi recognized it as his own, vaguely remembering letting his classmate borrow it after someone knocked into her with water in hand. But it was then he noticed exactly  _ what _ the handkerchief looked like. Months back Oikawa had gotten the green, alien and heart patterned cloth for his girlfriend at the time before getting dumped before he had the chance to give it to her. Distressed, he asked Iwaizumi to keep it which, sighing deeply, he obliged to. 

It quickly dawned on him the girl before him may have...no... _ did _ misunderstand. He proceeded to stutter out a dry apology before awkwardly asking if she wanted to return it, prompting heavy tears. She chucked the cloth at his chest and ran away. Just like that. 

Meanwhile, Oikawa watched nearby, eyes half-lidded and face relaxed. Iwaizumi slowly turned to him, awaiting some snarky remark or babying tease but his friend’s gaze remained vacant. “Oy, earth to Shittykawa” He flicked his forehead, snapping him out of his daze as he let out a surprised yelp. 

“Was my rejection too boring to watch?” 

Oikawa cocked his head to the side at the question. Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows in disbelief before placing vague pieces together. “You stayed up studying our opponents for the game, didn’t you?” 

Oikawa was suddenly perky and alert as ever. “I’m a responsible young adult, do you really think I’d sacrifice a full night’s rest to watch tapes? I’m just thinking about what I’m gonna do as captain next year” He fluttered his eyelashes, stopping quickly when Iwaizumi shot a hot glare. 

“Stop that. You’re a sleep deprived mess, don’t pull that bullshit with me.” Upon closer inspection, Iwaizumi could see the deep purple underneath Oikawa’s eyes, red veins creeping on the edges of his sclera. “Don’t pass out on me or I’ll kick your ass”

Oikawa gave him a strangled salute, trailing behind closely as they entered the gym to gather items necessary for that day’s practice game. It was eerily quiet until they were finally making their way to the parked bus and Iwaizumi muttered, “you better sleep on the way there. We can’t have our future captain zoning out during games”. Oikawa grinned subtly, bumping his arm affectionately and clambering onto the vehicle, ignoring the waves of dizziness that jarred his mind as he ascended and plopped down onto his usual seat.  

  
  


He thought Oikawa would take his suggestion to heart. Or at least hoped. It seemed okay, they won games they expected to win, struggled through new tactics and techniques but all made it through each day’s grueling practice. As expected, Iwaizumi found himself having to occasionally mother the man-child to rest, but no more blatant zone outs occurred. 

That was, of course, until on the last possible day of practice of their second year in high school, and Oikawa insisted on spending the night practicing. There was no stopping him now but he could at least supervise to prevent chaos from occurring. They began the evening working together, with Oikawa setting and Iwaizumi spiking. Challenging themselves with accuracy and power tests, taking turns serving and spotting each other as they experimented with new techniques. Somehow Oikawa managed to keep the conversation on analyzing the same movie for hours on end, recalling minute details and babbling on about theories about what it could mean. 

Honestly speaking Iwaizumi forgot what the movie was. He just enjoyed Oikawa’s mindless monologing, relishing the pure, silky voice of the volleyball player. He cut in every so often to ask, “What the fuck” when theories or tangents spiraled into oblivion. 

The moon was high in the night sky when Iwaizumi finally called it quits. He barked at Oikawa to take a break as well, only getting a mumble for a reply and dragged himself over to the wall of the gym with their towels and water bottles. He wiped the beads of sweat off his forehead, airing his body with his shirt. Of course, Oikawa was still laser-focused on his jump serve, the steady rhythmic bump continuing on. 

“Oikawa I’m serious, wrap it up” Iwaizumi took another drink of water, placing it down before he stretched his arms up. His muscles whined and he already knew the next morning would be a sore nightmare but had to admit the endless practicing was somewhat relieving. He was able to clear his mind completely and just live on a court where time didn’t seem to pass. But when limits were reached he needed to oblige, and in his current state, he knew even one more serve could call for severe consequence. Iwaizumi hissed through his teeth as the sound of sneakers squeaking rumbled through the gym. 

“Oikawa I swear to god-” 

He was cut off by the desolate silence before the storm. The moment was so clear, his turning around just as Oikawa was descending from his serve, eyes straining to stay open, leaning to the right and landing on that ankle at an acute angle. He heard the heartbeat before it all went wrong. He could taste the sweat-drenched air. He could see everything so clearly but at that moment, could not stop the inevitable. 

Oikawa landed with a sickening thud, sprawled across the wet floor with wails cut short as he gasped for air. Iwaizumi cursed as he sprinted to the trembling body, dropping to his knees. 

“Oikawa? Holy shit, Oikawa…” Iwaizumi eyes swiveled up and down the taller man’s figure. His hands waved anxiously above the teen’s torso, shaking as he tried to asses the situation. 

“I-Iwa-chan...Iwa-chan...help...” Iwaizumi was met with familiar almond eyes glazed over with tears. “Knee...right knee…” Oikawa choked on his words as he hung onto Iwaizumi’s shirt feebly with one hand as the other gripped his hand. Iwaizumi hastily, but as gently as he could, rolled Oikawa from his side to his back and felt his chest tighten as the setter’s injured knee came into view. It was a grueling red, already swollen as it pushed against the black knee pad covering it. 

“Stay still I’m...I’m gonna call the ambulance” Iwaizumi shifted to grab his cell phone but a desperate cry and frantic grab from Oikawa pulled him back. 

“Don’t go....don't go please, please…” His breath was hoarse, pupils dilating erratically as he pawed the air before clutching Iwaizumi’s face. His eyebrows were furrowed tightly as he stared painfully into the spiker’s haunted expression, both faces swirling with one prominent emotion. 

Fear. 

“I’m sorry Oikawa…” Iwaizumi scooted back, cringing as the cries ringing in the air grew and rushed to his bag, dialing the number he never wished to have to call. 

Pushing through choked back tears as he told the ambulance the school address and waiting the neverending minutes until they arrived was a hellish blur. He just held Oikawa, who had managed to find his breath again, nestling his head onto the spiker’s lap and listening to murmurs of encouragement as pulses of agony rippled through his body.  

As the ambulance arrived and shuffled to bring the teen onto a stretcher, Iwaizumi felt the heaviest lurch of the night in his heart as Oikawa whimpered, “What if I can never play again?” 

Their eyes met. Iwaizumi couldn’t muster any words as they propped him into the vehicle, gentle cries muffled by the rumbles and squealing siren as they drove to the hospital. 

  
  


Despite the hassle, yelling, teasing, and tedious experience physical therapy brought, both Oikawa and Iwaizumi couldn’t even begin to describe the levels of relief they felt when the setter was informed he had a chance at a full recovery. Every morning Iwaizumi stalked over to the teen’s house, dragging him out of bed and forcing him to do the required stretches. 

Even when Oikawa’s playful banter morphed into a distressed mental breakdown, Iwaizumi made sure to hold his composure, kicking the setter back into rhythm and reassuring him in his own, peculiar way that his knee was getting better. It was the weekend before their third year began when the two teens were sprawled on the floor of the spiker’s room, relaxing after that morning’s session and just back from lazily watching a movie downstairs. 

“Iwa-chan, you should clean your room”

Iwaizumi froze. “Are you serious? Half the shit here is yours, clean it up yourself” It was true. The teen kept physical therapy gear for convenience, though after any given session most of it was scattered all over the room. 

Oikawa giggled. “A doctor should clean up after his poor, disabled patient” He lolled out his tongue dramatically. “My poor body can’t handle such strenuous tasks”.

“Just yesterday I found you trying to practice setting by yourself. You’re just as capable to pick up after yourself as me” Iwaizumi sighed as he heard a grumbling reply and sat up. Oikawa looked up curiously, watching as the teen scrunched his nose.

“You really should work on how your face looks when you’re thinking Iwa-chan, your nose will shrivel up before you’re 20” 

“Do you really want to go pushing my buttons when you’re vulnerably splayed across the floor like that?” Iwaizumi made a fist as he raised an eyebrow and Oikawa hummed softly. 

“I trust Iwa-chan not to really hurt me even when my overwhelming looks, popularity, and skills are far superior-” 

He was interrupted with a punch to the arm, though there was a noticeable restraint behind it. Oikawa rubbed the affected area but still continued the tune he was humming, not missing the ever so faint smile on Iwaizumi’s lips as he listened in. “I really do trust you though...100%” His voice wavered not in doubt, but sincerity. The dark haired teen didn’t miss a beat as he replied.

“That’s a given on both ends idiot, you don’t need to go off saying it like that” 

Oikawa could see the pale pink flushed on his ears and the faint smile that held a certain genuine quality that he only ever experienced when they were alone together. 

That was when Iwaizumi realized for the second time something was going awry. Oikawa sat up to shoot him a wink when he quickly fell back, head hitting the floor with a hollow thunk. He quickly played it off, rubbing his head sheepishly but having known the damn kid for so long Iwaizumi didn’t let it slide. 

“What the fuck was that?” His voice was laced with annoyance and confusion. 

“Uh…”

“You of all people don’t just fall back like that”

“Iwa-chan it's just a little dizzy spell, I probably didn’t get enough water…”

Okay, issue one. Oikawa never just admitted to some health-related facet he failed to do. Issue two, dizzy spells didn’t come from simply sitting up. Issue three, Oikawa was blatantly lying. 

But the look Oikawa gave him at that moment through his head for a loop. It begged him not to persist, to just put it off, for just this once to let Oikawa tell him in his own time. He bit his lip. 

“Fine.”

That one word changed the entire atmosphere of the room. A secret refusing to be told but existence now known. An irritated worried kid so close yet so far to break through a mystery he had yet to know was there. A false sense of relief, followed by the dread that soon-one day-the case would be solved. 

 

As the Karasuno team bounced back to their bus, Oikawa watched from afar, grinning as the spunky crows scuttled away. “Oh how exciting…” The captain turned around, greeted by his beloved team. He’d somehow already managed to implement himself during practices he couldn’t even play in, and with today’s practice match, the final click was finally set. 

“So your knee is really alright?” Matsukawa inquired suspiciously as Hanamaki leered over his shoulder. 

“Yep yep! I’ve got the doctor’s confirmation note and everything!” He gave them a bright peace sign and fond smile, swimming in the high he felt from volleyball that he had been craving for so long. His right knee was in a white brace, supporting it from excessive strain, and even better, he was yet to feel light-headed that day. The constant precarious wave looming over him did terrify him; the thought that at any given moment it may crash down and knock him unconscious. But he didn’t have the time to worry. Iwaizumi was too worried about him overusing his knee that he failed to notice the darkening eye bags, difficulty staying awake, and frequent bouts of dizziness. Or...at least he hadn’t  _ said _ anything. The ace most definitely wouldn’t just drop the tense moment from before the school year started but, much to Oikawa’s surprise, it hadn’t been brought up. He desperately hoped his best friend had forgotten. But he knew hope wouldn’t stop the spiker. Not for something like this. 

His suspicions were confirmed at their usual study session later that night. Oikawa was twiddling a pen while Iwaizumi underlined passages of a story when he suddenly spoke up. 

“I know you’ve been overworking yourself”

_ There it is. _

“I used to think it was your obsession with volleyball. But you’ve been restricted from playing and you still manage to work yourself to exhaustion.” Iwaizumi sighed, face in his palms. “I really thought wow, maybe the idiot will get some rest, but here we are”. Oikawa cringed as his voice cracked a bit at the end.  

“Iwa-chan-”

“No. Let me finish. You’re the fucking captain of the volleyball team and you know full well what carelessness can do to you.” 

_ Ouch _

“And unless I put collar and leash around you you’ll find some stupid fucking loophole and as much as that pisses me off it worries me a shit ton more”

Oikawa suddenly realized Iwaizumi was shaking. His fists were shut so tightly his knuckles turned white and lips were twitching. But somehow he managed to continue. 

“I can’t fucking bother to mother you 24/7 and if I can’t trust you to sleep. To eat.”

He choked on his words. 

“Then I won’t be able to trust you anywhere else”

There was a stunning silence. The implication of what he meant struck hard. Oikawa opened his mouth to speak but Iwaizumi chokingly finished. 

“Please. Oikawa. Get your shit together. You think you can push your limits like this but you know what?” His eyes began to water. 

_ Shit _

“I can’t fucking handle you pushing  _ my  _ limits like this. I don’t care if you think its some matter of strength or motivation but I’m on the fucking edge and I can’t handle watching you just deteriorate in front of me”.

Iwaizumi turned around, rubbing at his eyes and cursing under his breath. 

“Iwa-chan I…” Oikawa’s voice wavered. “I’m sorry…”

Their eyes finally met. Regret, guilt, and exhaustion was laced tightly into both gazes. Oikawa’s lips trembled as he continued. 

“I want to rest Iwa-chan I really do. I-I just. I can’t”  _ What am I saying? “ _ I’m scared. I’m scared of stopping”  _ Oh “ _ I can’t stop now it’s all moving too fast and if I sleep. If I rest. I’ll just fall behind.”  _ Huh. “ _ I don’t want to fail Iwa-chan. Not anymore” 

Iwaizumi stared at him in disbelief. He seemed to consider several options, eyebrows twitching as he sat deep in thought. Eventually, he crawled over to where Oikawa sat, hesitating before tentatively embracing him. 

“You’re even stupider than I thought. You’re not gonna fail.”

Oikawa whimpered hoarsely.

“You never have” 

Oikawa slowly wrapped his arms around his friend's waist, nestling in close and crying into his shoulder. “What if...Iwa-chan, what if I do fail? What then?” 

“Well then we’ll just get through it”

Oikawa clutched the back of the teen’s shirt tightly. His growing sobs cut short as he struggled to breathe, pressure from months of stress finally being released. 

“I don’t care if you can’t play. If volleyball was the only thing keeping us friends I’d be long gone” Iwaizumi awkwardly stroked Oikawa’s back, thin streams of tears running down his face at the sight of the broken down child. “Our friendship isn’t based on your accomplishments. You’re stupid if you thought that” His jab had little malice tied in. All Oikawa could hear was the overwhelming worry and struggle in his best friend’s voice, the voice of held back dread and fear over his well-being. 

_ I really am an idiot.  _ Oikawa smiled into the damp jacket his eyes were buried in.  _ I trust you, Hajime.  _

The two boys sat in silence, Oikawa eventually drifting off into a long-needed rest as Iwaizumi simply held him, rubbing his back and ignoring the strain the position brought after several hours. He just let the teen sleep, sleep longer than the few hours he’d probably gotten every week, sleep peacefully enough to not wake up to anxious nightmares, to sleep soundly enough to finally wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on that day’s challenge. 

  
  


Things got better since that night. Oikawa agreed to take a day off each week to rest and visit his nephew, and within a month Iwaizumi was happy to see a positive change. His flirtatious skips were preppier, teasing snarkier and contribution to practice somehow better than it was before. 

He would never admit openly to it but hearing Oikawa’s constant whining and childish teasing relieved him in a way he thought impossible. 

He somehow found himself occasionally sneaking into Oikawa’s room on nights he suspected the setter couldn’t sleep, clambering through a window and dragging the player into bed and quietly talking together till he finally drifted off. Often he’d end up falling asleep there too, shaking himself awake before the sun rose so he could get back to his house. 

The volleyball team was out one afternoon shortly after the Inter-High Tournament, eating noodles paid by Oikawa because of a supposed lost bet. Hanamaki and Matsukawa shot him Cheshire grins as they ordered refill upon refill, gyoza upon gyoza and snickering as the captain watched in horror. 

“Matsukawa-senpai, what was the bet you won anyway?” Kindaichi sprayed his face with broth as he slurped his ramen just a bit too quickly. 

Matsukawa and Hanamaki shared a look. “Oh, y’know. Relationship issues” 

Kunimi glanced over unamused. “Oikawa-senpai lost a bet over something romantic?” 

The captain swiveled his head dramatically. “Kunimi-kun are you being condescending? That sounded judgemental” He pouted at the straight-faced kohai. 

“Do I sound condescending to you?” 

From the edge of a table, Iwaizumi could hear Watari choking back a laugh. 

As Oikawa’s jaw dropped pitifully Hanamaki leaned over to pat the first year’s back while remarking, “Now now, let’s respect our elders”. 

Iwaizumi simply watched, shrugging when the captain gave him a pleading look and returning one that said  _ you brought this upon yourself _ . 

Oikawa contorted his face before mumbling, “Mattsun and Makki are converting the first years” 

The respective third years high fived and not so subtly whispered, “he’s becoming self-aware”. 

This time Watari actually spat out his noodles in laughter. Yahaba had yet to blink as he tried to figure out what was going on and Kunimi remained unperturbed. 

The trio continued their bickering, first and second years listening quietly and chuckling along as they finished up their lunch. They were all comfortable, more a family than simple teammates. Despite the close call with Karasuno and the grueling loss against Shiratorizawa, they all managed to push through and simply live in the present. 

Iwaizumi had kept a careful eye on Oikawa, but much to his surprise the captain was as composed as ever. He didn’t sneak a practice in on his rest day and remained compliant when told to sleep. The ace was the least stressed he’d been in a long while, with plenty of reason to be content.

_ So why is there still this tug in my heart? _

He shook the thought away. Beside him, Oikawa was paying, glaring at Matsukawa and Hanamaki as he got the receipt and change. They all said their goodbyes, Kunimi wishing Oikawa good luck in his love life as he and Kindaichi turned the corner. 

The captain was still spluttering about the first year’s antics as they walked up the steps to his house. His face showed sarcastic contempt while his voice hid a layer of fondness for the young teens. 

“Really, it’s like they have no respect!”

“You have to give them something to respect first”

Oikawa gave him a betrayed gasp, closing the door behind him so that he was looking at the ace through a slim crack. Iwaizumi was unimpressed. 

“Let me in shithead”

“What if I don’t want to?” The setter stuck his tongue out.

He forcefully opened the door, ignoring Oikawa’s fumbling body at the sudden push. 

“I’ll just let myself in” 

He toed off his shoes, calling a respectful greeting before sauntering up familiar stairs, navigating the house without much thought. By the time Oikawa had caught up, he was sprawled out across the captain’s bed, face buried in an alien shaped pillow. 

_ Smells like him… _

The setter hadn’t changed the shampoo or conditioner brand for years and it had become a comfort to the gruff ace. It was a faint citrus scent, layered with crisp aloe and strawberry. 

“Iwa-channnn that’s my bed!” 

Despite the whine, Iwaizumi quickly felt a shove to his side as the teen rolled onto the mattress. He grunted but shifted to the side so they could lay side by side, belly down. 

“Is Iwa-chan too tired to watch his favorite show’s season premiere tonight?” 

Iwaizumi could feel Oikawa’s challenging smile through the pillow. Without lifting his face he grumbled, “Of course not shithead, I just need a break from your face”. 

“Uh huh~” Oikawa hummed quietly, chin resting on his hands as he lazily kicked his legs behind him. 

When it eventually became hard to breathe, Iwaizumi lifted his head and turned to look at his friend. He blinked before quietly asking, “What bet did you even lose? You haven’t had a girlfriend since you got dumped for being too invested in volleyball”  _ And I’d know if he was confessed to too. I’m by his fucking side more hours than not.  _

Oikawa paused. He looked down, pursing his lips before carefully answering. “You should ask Makki and Mattsun. It was their idea” He put on a plastic smile, though Iwaizumi noticed the faint blush that peppered across the setter’s cheeks. 

“That embarrassing, huh? You sure you want me getting the information from them?” 

Oikawa’s fake grin quickly wiped away, though his cheeks were still flushed. Almost inaudibly he admitted, “I’m worried about how you’ll react”. 

Iwaizumi squinted, nose crinkled in thought.  _ What did those two do this time?  _ “Y’know I don’t care what stupid shit you guys pull” 

Oikawa continued talking, though his mouth was now muffled by his pillow. “What if the stupid shit includes Iwa-chan?” 

The ace tried his best to suppress his hungry, but slightly angry curiosity. “Oikawa, just tell me” 

There was a brief air of silence. Oikawa shifted onto his back and hugged his bread shaped pillow to his chest. He squirmed before finally admitting, “they said I’d have to buy everyone Ramen if I...checked...you out more than ten times during practice” His voice trailed significantly and his cheeks were now flaring red. 

Iwaizumi began to laugh when he suddenly noticed the frantic look in the captain’s eyes. His heart stopped. “What the f-”

“I-I said it was ridiculous! That I wouldn’t do that but they said I was making excuses. That it was such a good deal and if I was so confident why not take it” The setter bit his lip as he rambled on. “I didn’t even think they were being serious but then…at practice, I realized when being monitored I…” Oikawa began to nibble at the edge of the pillow. “They didn’t even have to say anything. I knew I...lost the bet” The setter chuckled. “Mattsun said I didn’t actually have to get ramen for them. As long as I knew…” He risked flicking his gaze to meet Iwaizumi’s eyes. 

A lot of pieces were clicking in the teen’s mind right now. Some easier to accept than others. Oikawa’s hazel eyes were brimmed with fear and apprehension, desperate for his reaction. But it was too much. Iwaizumi slowly sat up, averting his gaze to the wall. 

“I need time to think” 

The chilling silence as he left the room blearily managed to stumble down the stairs and race to his house was heartbreaking.  

He wasn’t sure when he arrived back at his room, chest heaving and mind heavy. Could Oikawa be joking? No, of all the things he liked to fool around with their relationship was last on the list. That guilt he saw in those eyes was real. 

What did this mean for them? Based on his story Oikawa’s...realization was recent. Perhaps it was a spur of the moment overwhelming emotion. The setter hadn’t been in a relationship in a while and with his injury he’d heavily relied on Iwaizumi for support. 

No. They’d always been that way. Oikawa supported him just as much and his lack of a girlfriend never stopped his flirtatious nature from blooming. With girls at least. 

Right? 

His best friend couldn’t have the fleeting crush he teased others for having for  _ him,  _ right? 

_ Crush.  _

The word pounded through his mind. Anger, confusion, guilt, anxiety, hopelessness. It was poured into his core, filling it to the brim and threatening to overflow as he realized this was real. 

Iwaizumi wasn’t homophobic, no, he couldn’t care less if Oikawa was gay. 

So why did this bother him so much?  _ No, not bother.  _

_ This does not bother me.  _

_ We can get through this.  _

Because, even if their sexualities were different, even if Oikawa admitted to liking him in  _ that _ way, Iwaizumi was sure th-

_ Even if our sexualities differ?  _

He clutched his chest. 

_ Wait… _

He stopped and breathed. He took a deep breath, ignoring how much it hurt to force his heart rate to slow. Up till then, relationships were never part of his mind. Not for him anyway. 

He’d always just watched the girls come and go with Oikawa and rejected anyone that confessed to him…

_ Why _

_ Why did I never… _

Oikawa had asked him once. Why he never dated anyone. He just shrugged and said, “Dunno, don’t really feel like it”

They left the conversation at that. 

Boy did he wish they’d continued. 

Because as he began to breathe normally. As he regained his composure a new emotion overtook him. 

Relief. 

Hope. 

_ Desire.  _

Iwaizumi’s breath hitched. He stared at his blankets, vision blurring as he ceased blinking, fingers clutching his shirt bright white. 

_ I’m in fucking love with Oikawa Tooru.  _

_ And I just ran out on his confession.  _

He looked up to the ceiling. 

_ Damn you Mattsun. Damn you Makki. Look what you’ve done.  _

Tears were collecting on his eyelids. He didn’t care to wipe them away, instead allowing them to fall down his cheeks in sparse beads. 

_ Damn you both… _

He grit his teeth, hollow cries hissing through. 

_ Damn it all  _

  
  


Oikawa wasn’t sure what he expected Iwaizumi to do when he gave such a half-assed confession. Truth be told his realization was just as ridiculous but he could still pinpoint the exact moment he’d caught himself admiring Iwaizumi mid-spike and thinking

_ I’m in love with him.  _

Followed by

_ Wait, what? _

Then turning into

_ Fuuuuuuuck _

Before he looked over at Matsukawa and Hanamaki with such a panicked face they had to pull him off to the sidelines. 

He sat there alone, hugging the bread pillow and silently pondering about just how long he’d felt this way. The night he had his big moment he’d done the same, effectively coming to terms with it so his best friend wouldn’t suspect any change in his behavior. 

That didn’t stop him from wanting to tell him. 

Matsukawa and Hanamaki assured him there was no need to do the Ramen ordeal, that unless they lied perfectly  Iwaizumi would figure him out but he just smiled and replied, “that’s fine”. 

At the moment he really wished he listened to the dynamic duo. Of course the ace wouldn’t feel the same. They lived their whole lives as  _ platonic _ partners, and nothing more. Iwaizumi had never been interested in dating in the first place, so what made him think he’d reciprocate his out of the blue confession? 

Surprisingly Oikawa didn’t cry, nor did he feel the urge to. He just felt...empty. 

This life-changing discovery, immediately shut down. And he knew. He knew it would but he still let it happen.

Iwaizumi was right when he called the setter self-destructive. And he was right when he said that would hurt them both. 

Oikawa had just single-handedly burned their lifelong friendship down in one fell swoop. 

And all he could feel was a hollow acceptance, with nothing less and nothing more. 

_ I failed _

  
  


Later that night, Iwaizumi felt his phone vibrating from his pocket. He hadn’t moved in the hours since he fled Oikawa’s home, and as he checked the text notification his head finally dropped and hit the bed. 

> _ Hey Iwa-chan! I took some time thinking about it and I think you misunderstood! Silly Iwa-chan~ It was embarrassing to say that I checked you out but it wasn’t like “that” y’know? Who wouldnt try to check out the ace of the Aoba Johsai Volleyball Team? The ramen was to stop Mattsun and Matsukawa from telling you themselves and giving you the wrong idea but I guess I didn’t do a much better job. oops! Hope we can forget about this, wouldnt want to upset you over some silly misunderstanding _

Iwaizumi read over the text. Then read it again. And again. 

_ Lies _

He knew what had happened. He knew what Oikawa meant. And yet still, as though he still thought things could go back to before, he replied in his own lie. 

_ > i dont know what youre talking about. go to sleep _

  
  


Putting on fake fronts wasn’t only a skill Oikawa wielded. Both teens got through the coming days as though nothing was wrong, convincing themselves so much that they both successfully fully pushed that night’s conversation to the back of their minds. 

Even when Matsukawa and Hanamaki asked Oikawa if he ever said anything, he simply looked at them perturbed and changed the subject. Their friendship stayed intact, returning to what it’d always been. 

In fact, as the months went on, they continued to repress what had happened. They threw themselves in school and volleyball, Iwaizumi mothering Oikawa as usual and smacking him when he grinded his gears. 

After the Spring High Tournament, eyes rubbed raw and sniffling as Oikawa paid for everyone’s noodles, the team sat in somber silence, ace and captain sitting right by each other radiating a protective air around the teens but more importantly, each other. The third years had then decided to play together in the gym one last time, stomach aching and drenched in sweat but all in all content. And they were all composed, laughing and smiling until Oikawa finally flipped the table and wholeheartedly thanked his dear friends as they burst into tears. And as Oikawa and Iwaizumi walked side by side at home, they gave each other one heartfelt fist bump, vowing to never fall behind the other.   

In the weeks to come, Oikawa found himself extended across Iwaizumi’s room, setting their old, ripped volleyball they’d used as young children in the air over and over. His friend was intently scrolling through a page on his laptop, clicking and typing hastily. He raised his head, catching the ball before sitting up.

“Iwa-chan, what are you doing?” He peeked over the teen’s shoulders, eyes brimmed wide as he read what the website showed. “A two-person apartment room?” Iwaizumi just stared back at him, hostile eyes daring him to continue talking. 

“You don’t have an issue with it, right?” His voice cracked just a bit in faint worry. Oikawa just clapped his hands and fell back, hugging the volleyball tightly with an infectious smile spread across his face.  

It was the weekend before college began, both teens having gotten into a Tokyo University that would allow Oikawa to pursue the scouts he’d received. They were unpacking boxes while Oikawa’s favorite alien documentary blared on the TV. Iwaizumi found himself sighing more than ever, already having to pick up after the setter who hadn’t even been living in the apartment for more than a few hours. 

“Iwa-chan looks mad. Is the stress of adulthood finally getting to him?” Oikawa took a sip of water as he leaned on the kitchen counter lazily. Iwaizumi promptly walked over, squeezing the plastic bottle so it sprayed lukewarm water all over the teen’s face. 

“Shittykawa, I will never understand how you already managed to make a mess and sit here doing nothing at the same time” 

Oikawa pulled up his shirt to wipe the water off his face, frowning at Iwaizumi with puppy eyes. “It’s just one of my many special skills, no need to be jealous or anything though”

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow dangerously. “There’s still water in that bottle” 

The spiker’s eyes lingered on Oikawa’s stomach just a second too long before briskly reaching for a nearby towel and shoving it into the setter’s arms. “Dry yourself off properly before I change my mind”

The setter clutched the soft rag, ears tipped red as he gently dabbed the moisture left on his cheeks. As he joined Iwaizumi to finish unpacking the boxes, he hummed a reminiscent tune, towel hanging around his neck and soft smile never fading. 

The hours went by with Oikawa was rambling on about what he knew about the university team, anxiously trying to figure out how he’d implement himself. As he paced around the bathroom, mouth bubbling with frothing toothpaste, Iwaizumi brushed their bare arms together, just enough to say  _ you’ll be okay.  _ He then proceeded to shove him out of the bathroom to take a shower, leaving the setter left flabbergasted by the door, dripping toothpaste from his lips. 

And yet, despite the comfort, that night before going to bed, both teens felt a flash of painful regret in their hearts as they said goodnight and separated to their respective beds. They both slept in matching sleeping positions courtesy of childhood cuddling, and both drifted off to the same, matching somber thoughts. 

_ He doesn’t need to know. _

_ Just being friends is enough... _

_ It has to be enough. _

  
  


University proved to be as stressful as its made out to be. Oikawa never made it home at a decent hour, either out practicing volleyball or staying out with classmates to study. They went about their daily lives, Iwaizumi frequently drifting into the gym to watch practice but never actually play. 

Oikawa had pestered him for weeks after he stated he wouldn’t pursue volleyball in university. 

“But Iwa-chan! You got scouts, right? You’re plenty good to make any team you’d want!”

They’d been walking home from lunch that day and he could distinctly recall that desperate look Oikawa gave him, almost begging. 

“I’ve got other passions too. Unlike you, my mind is able to think about other things”

“Oh? So what are you going to study then? What’s so much better than volleyball?”

Iwaizumi turned to stare right at Oikawa. 

“I want to go into Sports Medicine. Tokyo University’s got one of the best programs in that field”

He then hurried several paces ahead, giving his friend little time to absorb what he said. It also allowed him to give the faintest smile as he heard the brightest confused chirp being hollered behind him.

“Iwa-chan, we’re going to the same university? Iwa-chan? Iwa-chan are you serious?”

Nevertheless, both teens came home exhausted every day and often fell asleep at their desks, pencil in hand. Early morning lessons were the worst, whether it was Iwaizumi or Oikawa’s the former found himself having to wake up to make sure the respective student actually made it to class. It reminded the former spiker of their school night sleepovers, way back in Junior High when Iwaizumi couldn’t stay awake past 11 and would fall asleep mid-reading assignment, then wake up snuggled close to Oikawa in his bed. He was never sure just how late the kid stayed up because no matter how much of their assignment they had left, he’d wake up to it completed. 

He vowed to return the favor despite Oikawa’s blatant disapproval. It wasn’t exactly the same but still, Iwaizumi knew Oikawa had  _ never _ been a morning person.  

Which is why he couldn’t be too angry when one morning he literally had to drag Oikawa out of bed and to the bathroom where he proceeded to splash cold water in his face. Looking down at the whimpering mess of a college student, he just sighed and tapped his foot impatiently as the setter groaned in fatigue. 

“Ughhh...five more minutes...hours...”

He rubbed at his eyes pitifully, yawning on the white tile floor. With his wrinkled school uniform still unchanged from the previous night and usually perfect hair a bird’s nest, Iwaizumi knew he was seeing the most blackmail worthy moment for a picture presented to him like a gift with a bow. 

“The last time I let you sleep in you got up at 2 pm, skipped your classes then played volleyball until 3 in the morning” He calmly took out his phone, swiping at the screen to unlock the camera. Unbeknownst to Oikawa, he flashed several pictures, making sure to capture the wild animal in his prime.  “And you have that test first thing. You can’t be late”

Oikawa curled into a fetal position. “Don’t remind me Iwa-chan, if I don’t think about it it doesn’t exist” 

“Uh huh...you keep telling yourself that” Iwaizumi scrolled through the photos he’d taken, setting one as Oikawa’s new contact picture and strolled out of the room. “I’ll make breakfast so no excuses for skimping out” He sent some photos to Matsukawa and Hanamaki for good measure. 

As the sizzling scrambled eggs finally fluffed to the desired consistency, Iwaizumi could hear the jaded muffles of his roommate finally getting ready for the day. A nearby  _ ding _ signified two ready to eat slices of toast, and unlike Oikawa, who’d try to grab both pieces with his bare fingers  _ before _ getting a plate and inevitably drop the bread on the floor-it’d happened several times-Iwaizumi grabbed two clean plates and frisked the bread on with nimble fingers. By the time Oikawa sat down, clothes still wrinkled but hair combed through and bright face smiling, a plate of toast topped with seasoned scrambled eggs was waiting expectantly. 

With a satisfying crunch, Oikawa wolfed down the food, giving his roommate a thumbs up. “Iwa-jan shoog coog more ofen!”

Iwaizumi scoffed. “Don’t talk with your mouth full, it’s disgusting and you’ll choke”

The setter swallowed his half-chewed toast. “Iwa-chan should cook more often!” he repeated.

“Why, so you can laze around more?”

“No, Iwa-chan’s just my favorite cook~”

Iwaizumi didn’t say anything in reply. He simply turned to the sink as he washed the cooking pan, faint blush growing on his ear tips. Thankfully at that moment, Oikawa checked his phone and gave a betrayed gasp. 

“Iwa-chan what is this?!”

Iwaizumi ignored him.

“Why did Kunimi-kun just send me this unflattering photo of me with the caption ‘this is why you’re single’?”

Iwaizumi choked on his spit as he held back laughter.  _ Kunimi is a god, holy shit. _

“He says he got the photo from Mattsun!” 

Iwaizumi could hear furious typing coming from the table. 

“Iwa-chan I can’t have my image tarnished like this!”

The dark haired teen dried the pan and turned around. 

“You never have and never will have an image to tarnish”

Oikawa glared at him, eyebrows scrunched and lips plumped out. “I won’t take offense to that coming from you”

Iwaizumi stomped up aggressively close to Oikawa. “You wanna repeat that?” His snarl failed to conceal the playful banter beneath it, but the setter still put his arms up in submission and shook his head. With a half-formed smirk, the dark-haired teen slithered to the door, bag now in hand. “Lock the door when you leave” He waved and shut the door, barely able to catch Oikawa’s “Don’t annoy too many people!”. 

As he checked his phone, Iwaizumi noticed a barrage of new messages. Opening them revealed the same image being sent to him from old teammates. 

Illustrated in the photo was Iwaizumi half slipping off his bed, drool dripping down his face and cheek buried into the floor. His pants were crumpled at his ankles, exposing the alien boxers he’d borrowed from Oikawa. The blankets were effectively kicked off the bed, pouring off the sides alongside several pillows. 

His grip around the phone tightened. Raising his chin in the air, Iwaizumi swear he heard a familiar laugh as he screamed Oikawa’s name into the early morning air. 

  
  


“He tests me every day, I swear to god I’m gonna kick him out”

Iwaizumi stirred his coffee as the soft, dappled sunlight streamed through the cafe windows. Across from him, Matsukawa and Hanamaki were smirking, quietly listening to Iwaizumi recalling the most iconic tales he could muster from his time living with Oikawa. 

Hanamaki took a sip of his iced macchiato. “Can’t say I’m not surprised he used your grocery money to buy you a cactus”

Matsukawa gave him a side glance as he added on. “I think it’s pretty sweet, sacrificing necessary food for a fuzzy plant you’ll forget to take care of”

Iwaizumi gestured the air with his spoon as he continued on, exasperated. “He actually locked himself in his room when I told him to return it”

“Don’t know what you were expecting since its, y’know, Oikawa” Hanamaki smirked at Matsukawa’s reply.

“That didn’t make it any less frustrating” He balanced his chin on his arms propped onto the table. “We ended up keeping the damn thing too, he keeps it in the bathroom”

“You’ve grown soft in your old age Iwaizumi” Hanamaki flashed a sly sneer as the teen glared back. “Soon enough you’ll be letting Oikawa sleep in your bed”

An awkward silence ensued before Hanamaki risked continuing. 

“Unless you already do?” 

Iwaizumi’s cheeks flushed a deep red, throat lodged as he struggled to produce a reply. As he stuttered an inaudible answer, the other teens raised their eyebrows knowingly in unison. “You don’t need to answer that Iwaizumi” Matsukawa leaned over to take a sip of Hanamaki’s drink. “You’re both painfully obvious-”

“I don’t know what you-”

“-to everyone but yourselves” Hanamaki quietly finished the sentence. 

“That’s freakishly ominous”

“Our finishing each other’s sentences or the thing we said?” Hanamaki grinned proudly.

“...Both” Iwaizumi paused. “I really don’t know what you mean” 

The two teens sighed. Hanamaki bit his lip as the curly haired teen beside him responded. “We know. But you should figure it out. Soon, please, so we don’t rip our hair out”

They quickly changed the conversation after that, taking advantage of what little time they’d have to talk. But as Iwaizumi walked home alone that evening, he couldn’t help but play over what his friends had said over and over, failing his effort to ignore what they meant.

The past catching up to him terrified him. But he’d known for a while how  _ close _ he was to breaking. 

Once again Oikawa had pushed him to a limit he couldn’t suppress. 

And he would never be ready to admit it to the man he was madly in love with. 

  
  


Quiet classical musical drifted through Iwaizumi’s ears as he stared down at the chemistry homework before him. He only needed to complete four more pages of the thick, grueling packet and despite his mind deeply clouded, he was motivated to try and power through. He tapped the desk with his fingers, staring at the small clicking clock settled on the wood that read 12:37 am when his phone suddenly vibrated nearby. His eyes quickly skimmed over the screen, revealing the caller to be Oikawa. He sighed, picking up the phone and bringing it to his ear. Almost immediately the atmosphere felt off. An unfamiliar voice crackled through from the other end of the line.

“Hello? Is this Iwaizumi-san?”

The student’s heart dropped. His breathed heavily through his nose before replying. “Yes I am, who is this?”

“My name is Morisuke Yaku, I’m on Oikawa-san’s volleyball team. He’s currently in the hospital. The doctor’s say he’ll be fine; he just aggravated an old injury but your friend demanded we call you before we leave.”

“Which hospital?” Iwaizumi was already at the door, jacket in hand and shoes slipped on loosely.

“The University of Tokyo Hospital-”

“Alright, thank you, I’m on my way” The door shut behind him as he hung up, sprinting down the hall and several flights of stairs. He ignored the tightness in his chest, unsure whether it was from the sudden burst of running or worry, refusing to slow down until he plowed into the hospital’s main lobby.  

“I’m here to visit Oikawa Tooru, can you tell me what room he’s in?” He gasped as he bent over the front desk, scrambling to get any form of ID out. His mind was a blur, only hearing the numbers  _ 278 _ before taking a pass and rushing to get to the desired location. His hand paused as it latched on the door handle, trembling before his pushed his way in. 

“Iwa-chan?”

Before him was his best friend, dressed in a hospital gown with his knee propped up tightly cast in pearly bandages. His eyes were drooping, rimmed in red but they sparkled joyfully at the sight of the teen. 

Iwaizumi slid towards the bed before hovering over the setter’s body, teeth grit tightly. “What the fuck were you thinking? You knew if you overworked your knee it could easily get injured again. What if it becomes permanent? What if there’s no second chance Oikawa?” His voice was seething with sticky, agonized rage. 

“Well thank you for visiting with such kind words” Oikawa grinned, masking the thoughts he and Iwaizumi couldn’t possibly avoid sharing. 

“Don’t fuck around like that Shittykawa, what on earth did you even do to it this time?” His voice strained, he hated that he didn’t know. That his friend got hurt and he wasn’t there to comfort him. Had he cried? Had he called out for him like that day in the gym alone, as he’d clutched the young teen in his embrace?

“It was just a bad landing, hurt my ankle more than anything honestly. The doctor says I’ll be good to go with another day of bed rest and then a week off from practice” At this point, the weary teen couldn’t hide the dull fear in his eyes, still clearly shaken up. Even so, he managed to quietly murmur, “I’m okay, really…ow!”

Oikawa rubbed the spot on his head where Iwaizumi had hit, scrunching his eyes. 

“You’re not okay, you’re in a fucking hospital bed.” His chest trembled. “Don’t scare me like this...I can’t go around worrying about you every second of every day”

“Iwa-chan worries about me all the time anyways” Oikawa purred daintily, though Iwaizumi’s expression didn’t budge. 

“Just promise me you won’t do this again. I hate it.” The conversation was distastefully familiar, reminding Iwaizumi how Oikawa had looked up at him in an unsettlingly similar hospital bed and gown. He’d hoped to never have to feel this overwhelming fear and despair again, but here he was. 

Oikawa averted his gaze, pausing before quietly murmuring, “I’ll try my best”. It was soft but genuine, and despite not being a hard “I won’t”, it filled Iwaizumi with comforting relief.

“If you get home late anymore I’ll come pick you up myself Shittykawa, so I sure hope so” A hint of pink was visible in both teens, though neither mentioned anything about it. Iwaizumi then breathed deeply before croaking, “It really isn’t that bad?”

With a sincere grin Oikawa said, “It really isn’t. It’s not like before.” He twiddled his thumbs on his lap, fabric curled in his loose firsts. “I promise”

Iwaizumi sat on the edge of the bed, letting Oikawa tentatively resting his head on his thigh and quietly let the minutes go by. The setter soon drifted off, though Iwaizumi found himself protectively scouring the room all night long as though something would come to hurt them. As the sun began to rise, he shimmied off the edge of the bed, breathing in Oikawa’s presence one last time before quietly slipping out of the room and getting ready for school.   

  
  
  


Three weeks after the ordeal, Oikawa had a subtle skip in his step as he and Iwaizumi made their way home. With the leaves changing hues to warm reds and yellows, it was a pleasant experience to have matching schedules allowing the two to walk back to their apartment together. He just...had a good  _ feeling  _ about how things were going. The setter tugged at his scarf, pulling it up to cover his pale lips when the teen beside him suddenly stopped. 

When he turned to see what was holding his friend up, his heart dropped. A young girl with wavy hazel hair was standing before Iwaizumi, arms stretched out with a box in her hand. His ears drowned out all sound but he didn’t need to hear her words to know what was going on. Thanks to his scarf, he didn’t need to hide his deep frown, though the quick glance his roommate flashed him revealed his expression was still clear as day. 

Sooner than expected, Iwaizumi turned back around. The girl was left standing, breathless as he muttered, “Let’s go Oikawa” and pulled his sleeve to follow. They quickly walked home, silently crunching the falling leaves before finally entering their apartment building. Iwaizumi was about to enter the key to their door when Oikawa finally spoke up, dropping his bag. 

“You rejected her, didn’t you?”

Iwaizumi paused, bag falling as well. He dropped his arm, swiveling to meet Oikawa’s hostile gaze. “Yeah, you got an issue with that?”

The setter’s eyebrows furrowed. “Yes, Iwa-chan, in fact, I do.”

His roommate breathed in, mouth open to hiss back a retort before Oikawa continued to speak.

“In high school, I got over your lack of a girlfriend since we were young but we’re in fucking college now. That girl is in your Biology class, and I know for a fact you enjoy spending time with her. So what is your fucking issue with accepting her confession?”  _ What am I saying?  _ He took a step closer to the cautious man, noticing how he began to step away. “Do you just like rejecting people that much?”  _ Stop... _

Iwaizumi’s jaw dropped, quivering before he quietly answered. “Rejecting people is the last thing I want to do, I’m not that heartless you shit” He grunted as Oikawa grabbed him by the shirt, key clanking to the floor. 

“Based on how you handle this all it sure doesn’t seem that way” He tugged the man sideways and shoved him back, ignoring the echoed thunk as Iwaizumi’s back hit the wall. The shorter man looked up at him with a sickeningly calm gaze before he carefully spoke. 

“This isn’t about her, is it?”

Oikawa paused, grip tightening. 

“Cut the bullshit Oikawa, I’m not an idiot”

He raised his other arm to clutch Iwaizumi’s shirt, treading even closer. “Shut up...” His voice wavered. 

“We’ve been beating around the bush for over a year, just drop it” Iwaizumi’s low voice was barely audible. 

“Shut...up…” Oikawa closed the miniscule gap between them, noses nearly touching. He could feel Iwaizumi’s steady breath on his lips, arms trembling as he failed to form any more words. 

“If you’re not gonna do it then I will” Iwaizumi gently grabbed Oikawa’s arms, unlatching them from his shirt. He trailed his hands down the shaking forearm and interlaced his fingers around his wrists. “I rejected her because I’m already in love with somebody else”

The setter’s shoulders stiffened. Long repressed memories came tumbling back, further adding to his hot, blinding confusion. His chest was tight and restricted his breath as he looked to Iwaizumi for an answer. “What…?”

Iwaizumi took a deep breath, time slowing as he traced circles on Oikawa’s skin. “I love you Oikawa...I’m in fucking love with you and I can’t deal with this bullshit we’ve been pulling for the past year anymore, I just can’t” 

A quiet whine slipped through Oikawa’s lips. “What?... Are you serious?” His lips quivered. “You’re not joking?” 

The dark haired teen leaned his head forward till their lips were only millimeters apart. “I wouldn’t joke about this idiot” He barely finished his sentence before his closed the gap, lips tenderly pressing against Oikawa’s. 

Time stopped. Oikawa’s heart ceased beating. Confusion followed quickly by disbelief then overwhelmed by understanding swirled within him. He could see the individual eyelashes on Iwaizumi’s face, every individual strand of brown hair hanging down. His eyes fluttered shut as he accepted the soft, desperate skin on his own, tears flowing down his cheeks as he frantically clutched Iwaizumi’s face in his hands. They didn’t deepen the kiss for several seconds, simply standing there in the dim hallway, bodies pressed close against each other radiating passionate heat. 

When Iwaizumi finally broke apart, forehead still leaning on Oikawa’s, the setter found himself already hungry for the warmth on his lips again.

“Let’s get inside”

Oikawa nodded mindlessly, backing away as Iwaizumi hastily picked the keys and bags off the ground, freehand gripping onto his tightly before unlocking the door and rushing into the room. He barely gave him a chance to shut the door before kicking his shoes off, bag abandoned and pulling him back into a kiss. They stumbled back, teeth clacking together as the kiss deepened. The setter angled his head, pushing with the pent-up yearning he’d repressed for so long. Iwaizumi growled, unraveling the scarf around Oikawa’s neck as well as his own. He took in a breath through his nose, hot air filling him with intimate passion, warmth pouring through his body to the tip of his fingers. 

“Oikawa…” The kiss broke off momentarily as a hushed murmur filled the air. 

“Mmm?”

“I’m sorry I ran out on you that night” Guilt wracked the teen’s voice as his lips brushed his cheek. 

“It’s okay” Oikawa pressed his lips on Iwaizumi’s jawline. “We figured it out eventually” 

“Still…” 

Oikawa quietly shushed him, turning his face to kiss familiar lips again and wrap his arms around his neck. It was gentle, simply full of affection and exhausted relief. The crevices of their faces fit perfectly, sliding and turning smoothly against each other as though they’d done this a million times before. 

In fact, Oikawa wasn’t sure how this could  _ possibly _ be Iwaizumi’s first kiss. Or second, or even third. The way the man breathed him in and clutched locks of his hair to expertly maneuver his face was nothing short of exceptional. He was completely entranced, lead completely by the darker haired teen, barely noticing how they were slowly shuffling towards the nearby couch. 

He was pushed onto familiar cushions, effectively pinned down by a gruff, panting body. When he looked up through half-lidded eyes, he saw the man he’d loved for so long. He saw the dark, chocolate brown hair that spiked in that personality matching way and striking eyes that were seemingly looking  _ through _ him and reading, drinking in his every thought. And he saw the warm, tanned skin splashed with a deep blush and perfect thin lips, lathered in saliva and slightly swollen from their kiss. 

Iwaizumi climbed onto the couch more comfortably, propping up the setter so that they were both sitting snugly close. They were practically tangled on top of each other but neither cared nor complained. 

His heart was still pounding as he grasped Iwaizumi’s face in his palms and pulled him close. His touched their foreheads together, eyes closed and air breathless as he simply whispered, “I love you too”. 


	2. Chapter 2

It’d been nearly a week since the confession when Oikawa brought up the topic. 

“So you realized you were gay for me because you were trying to convince yourself you weren’t bothered by my confession?” 

Oikawa was sprawled across the couch, giggling with his head in Iwaizumi’s lap as his hand combed through his hair. He scrunched his nose, clicking his tongue before replying. “You were the one who realized it over a  _ bet _ about checking me out playing volleyball so you’re one to talk” 

The setter gazed up into his eyes, pausing before murmuring, “Guess those two knew what they were doing”. 

Iwaizumi mumbled incoherent words as he affectionately caressed Oikawa’s cheek with his free hand. His skin was annoyingly soft, a perfect shade of pink-tinted ocre. 

“We should thank them…”

“You really want to give them that power?”

Oikawa pouted up at him. “Mattsun and Makki are responsible enough adults to handle our gratitude maturely”. 

They sat in silence before they both chuckled, practically tasting the falseness of the phrase in the air, though both teens were filled with faint gratitude at their friends’ persistent push. 

Iwaizumi dropped his hand to stroke Oikawa’s collarbone to which he shivered in response. “I think we would have figured it out eventually…” His fingers ghosted over Oikawa’s chest, sneaking under his shirt. “Can’t ignore what my body wants forever” He mumbled, eyes speckled with desire. 

The setter squeaked in surprise, sitting up and turning to bring his face close to his partner’s. “What do you mean?” Knowing craving laced into his question. 

He received a wet kiss in response, arms gripping his sides as they stood up. Tentative hands grabbed his hips, grinding their waists together and prompting a hoarse moan from the setter. 

“So sensitive…” Iwaizumi dropped his chin to nibble at the nook of Oikawa’s collarbone, chuckling as he felt the teen shiver beneath him. He bit down, intent to bruise, and smiled when he heard the setter’s hitched groan. Pulling away he dragged the teen over to their bedroom, kicking the door shut before lips were smacking his and hauling him onto the bed. 

Hot air danced around the couple as they pressed their bodies close, panting between deep, electric kisses. Iwaizumi nibbled Oikawa’s lower lip, fingers curling under the hem of his shirt. The setter buckled beneath him, moaning as deft fingers traveled up his chest and slipped his shirt off. 

“...Hajime…” 

Iwaizumi grunted at the use of his first name, pinning Oikawa down onto the wrinkled sheets and staring at his naked chest with dark, hungry eyes. The setter yanked his head back down to nip hot kisses across his neck, mumbling his name in between each bite.   
He cursed silently as the heat rushing south became noticeable, moaning when Oikawa began rubbing his thigh in between his legs roughly with a mischievous smile curled across his lips. His hands drifted down to peel his own shirt off quickly before returning to caress the setter’s rippling abdomen.  

Fingers quivering, Iwaizumi fiddled with Oikawa’s belt, unfurling the long, leather strap and tossing it to the side before tugging at fabric. The setter was left breathless as Iwaizumi pushed down his pants and boxers, leaving him to kick the last of them off his ankles. 

Nails dug into the darker haired teen’s back as rough fingers curled around a shuddering cock. Saliva precipitated around his tongue, sweat trails marking paths connecting both bodies. Iwaizumi experimentally flicked the tip with his thumb, smirking at the resulting choked back moan. He slowly rubbed over the same spot, taking his time to catch his breath as Oikawa squirmed beneath him. 

“Don’t... be a tease Hajime, or I won’t use that name-” His threat halted short as Iwaizumi suddenly stroked his entire length briskly. He shuddered when steaming lips grazed his ears whispering, 

“Beg for me, Tooru”

The setter whined, biting his lips as his hips pumped to a nonexistent rhythm in Iwaizumi’s grip as he yearned for more. His voice came in breathy pants, full of need and passion. “Hajime,  I need more...take me... _ please”  _ He inhaled quickly when he received another full caress against his cock. Heat bubbled in his core, rising quickly to the edges of his limbs as his hips rocked to the steady rhythm beginning to bloom. 

“Faster...faster…” He was nearly inaudible over Iwaizumi’s horse groans and squeaking bed. 

“ _ Faster _ Hajime” 

The order came out harsher than intended but it seemed to do the trick. In fact, at the sound of the rare authority directed as Iwaizumi, he ducked his head down until his lips were dangling beside Oikawa’s cock. 

His breath hitched when a warm tongue, dripping with saliva precariously traveled up his length. He hands scrambled to grab onto anything, quickly nesting in Iwaizumi’s spiky hair and the adjacent bed covers. 

The hungry mouth left a slick trail from his base to his tip, nibbling with coarse teeth and prompting a guttural moan. He inadvertently bucked his hips up, pushing his entire length into Iwaizumi’s mouth as the latter choked it back. 

“Holy shit are you o-” Once again the setter was interrupted with an overflow of pleasure; the teen gripped his cock and smoothly slid it out to catch his breath before breathing it back in. His entire body rippled from head to toe, grip on Iwaizumi’s hair tightening. 

Oikawa sucked in hot air through grit teeth, unable to suppress his pleasured moans that satisfyingly rang through the air. He jerked his hips against Iwaizumi’s face again, hitting the back of his throat wet with both their juices. 

“I-I’m...ah...Hajime-”

Lustful eyes peered up at him before releasing him to whisper, “Are you at your  _ limit _ Tooru?” He licked his lips, cherishing the precome dripping down his chin. 

Oikawa simply nodded, covering his eyes with his hand not tangled in Iwaizumi’s hair as he was once again sucked off. He whined as he struggled to hold back his climax, finally caving once Iwaizumi’s tongue coiled expertly around a bulging vein and pierced the sensitive skin. 

His chest heaved with desperate breaths as Iwaizumi swallowed and licked Oikawa clean, rubbing his lips with the back of his hand before crawling up his body and placing a gentle kiss on the corner of his lips. “Oi...don’t fall asleep on me” His coo was blunt yet gentle, followed by another tender kiss reminiscent of their first. 

Oikawa giggled, lifting his arm to clutch Iwaizumi’s cheek and nuzzle his face. “I’m not done yet,  _ Iwa-chan _ ” 

Iwaizumi shuddered at the way Oikawa’s words rolled off his lips. Before he could hiss back a reply, a hand was latched onto his pulsing cock. He groaned, mindlessly letting Oikawa flip their positions as the hand in question continued to gently stroke its prey. 

Oikawa pumped slowly with a tantalizingly loose grip, tracing a line of hungry bites down Iwaizumi’s jaw and neck. With a free hand, he slipped off sweat soaked pants from his partner, never once stopping his sensual nips at his skin. 

He grinded their hips together, eagerly accepting Iwaizumi’s low moans that reverberated in his chest. The dark haired teen cursed under his breath, thrusting against Oikawa desperately. 

Iwaizumi boiled with lecherous desire, shuddering as Oikawa finally slipped down his body to daintily lick his tip. If he hadn’t been hard before, he sure as hell was a rock now. His knuckles glowed white as he gripped the bedsheets, back arching against Oikawa’s mouth. 

In one slick motion, Oikawa took his entire length, willfully letting it hit the back of his throat. His tongue lathered the skin delicately, prompting Iwaizumi to let out a rare whine.

“Tooru I swear…” He gasped as teeth gently raked at his base. Oikawa growled softly, predatorily, as he sucked on Iwaizumi’s cock. Even as the darker haired man squirmed feverishly beneath him, Oikawa refused to accommodate his desires. 

“Holy shit…”

Iwaizumi moved a hand to clutch Oikawa’s hair and bob it to his will, sighing when he finally began to rhythmically slide his mouth across his cock, back and forth. 

“T-Tooru-” His whisper was interrupted suddenly by swollen lips smashing against his, tongue barreling through to swim around his mouth as he came. His hips bucked and fell still, stomach stained with his own pearly liquid. He groaned against the kiss, wet lips sliding against one another with boiling heat radiating through each other. 

Oikawa tilted his chin back, strings of saliva still trickling between them, a shy smile growing on his lips. 

“Hajime...you need to work on your stamina~” 

The latter teen was too breathless to reply, simply glaring at the setter and panting heavily. His annoyance quickly evaporated when a gentle, affectionate kiss hit his lips, pure of tender love. 

They would soon get up to clean themselves up, but at that moment, just kissing each other in their most vulnerable states, quietly cascading their love to each other, all was well. 

They were content. 

They were happy.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iwaoi is the epidemy of the couple to switch between being a dom and sub while having sex in the form of a competition
> 
> Anywho hope you guys enjoyed! Smut is always a wild ride to write, its wack tbH

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what to think of this fic since it's my first standalone I've put a lot of effort into? Next chapter will be that hot smuT, I'm writing it now but wanted to post this first main part. Hope it was a good read, I love these boys so much they're the best nerds.


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